Mikey's Question, Raph's Guilt
by Turtlefanforlife1982
Summary: Mikey has always had a hard time listening to his brothers fight, he has had enough and confronts them both...


**Mikey's Question**

**A/N: This came to me while I was rewatching all of the Ninja Turtle movies a few days ago after watching the latest Turtle movie. And a question came to mind 'why does Raph hate his eldest brother so much?' **

**Summary: How can one innocent question shake the all mighty Raphael so badly? Lets find out...**

**Disclaimer: don't own nothing... doesn't stop me from wishing I did though...**

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Mikey could hear them again, he was pretty sick of hearing his two oldest brothers fighting all the time. There were times the fighting would scare him, he would go to Donnie for comfort, but this time during one of the brothers infamous fights Donnie had been out getting supplies so there was no one there.

The youngest turtle hid away in his room laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling, he watched as a small black spider crawled across the ceiling. He spoke out loud but didn't expect an answer "what is there problem?" the sound of a slamming door next to his room made him jump, he knew it was Leo's room, "well the fights over... for now." he laid there a little longer before a question popped in his head, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed he sat there for a moment before getting up and looking out his door. The light was on in Leo's room, and he couldn't see Raph anywhere in sight. Gaining courage he knocked on Leo's door "go away Mikey! I'm not in the mood." "but, I have a question." he could hear movement and then the door was jerked open and there stood his enraged eldest brother "what!"

Mikey flinched and said timidly "Leo, do you hate any of us?" Leo shook his head, it was still spinning from his earlier fight with Raphael, he cleared his mind of it and then said "why would you ask me that?" Mikey shrugged and then said calmly "cause you're always fighting with Raph..." Leo took in a deep breath and let it out, he stared at his youngest brother before saying "Mike I could never hate any of you, Raph just has a horrible temper that needs to be put in check."

Leo loosened his hold on the door, and motioned for his baby brother to enter his room, Mikey stepped in and looked around for a second before sitting down on Leo's bed. Leonardo could tell what ever was bothering Mikey wasn't going away until he talked about it. "Mikey, look... Raph and I, when we fight we don't mean what we say to each other." a frown formed on his face and Mikey said softly "then why do you say it? Those words have to come from some where Leo... they don't just appear out of thin air..."

Leonardo looked over at his bedside table and saw a photo of the four of them, it was a rare time that he and Raphael had gotten along.

Thinking about what his brother had just said, he paused for a moment before turning his desk chair around and sat down facing Mikey "Mike... I know it scares you to hear us fight... I try to keep the volume down... but Raph gets louder." "why do you have to get loud too? The rare times me and Donnie have a fight he tries to get loud but you know what I do Leo? I just let him vent... I don't add fuel to the fire by raising my voice too... I was watching this movie on T.V. one time and it talked about bullies... and how it only adds fuel to the fire to yell back. So if you just keep a calm voice and not raise to the other person's bullying then the other person will eventually give up and back down."

Leo couldn't believe what he was hearing, his usual funny good natured brother admitted to having fights with Donnie, but he also had a point. Raph was kind of a bully to the family, and Leo always added fuel to the fire by yelling back. "when did you get so smart?"

Mikey gave him a half smile and said "I always have been... you guys just think I am a goof ball that doesn't know when to quit. I am not stupid Leo, despite what Raph calls me, notice I don't try to defend my self when he calls me stupid. I just go with it..."

"I never have called you stupid have I?" Mikey looked down at the floor then back up at his brother "once or twice... but I didn't take offence to it. I never do, I just let it slide."

Leo could feel the tension ease in his shoulders as he relised that talking to Mikey actually calmed him down, he knew his youngest brother was right that adding fuel to the fire by yelling back was not solving anything. "you know Mike, you're right, I will wait until Raph comes back and try to talk reason with him." Smiling Mikey told him "good luck, I hope that maybe the new tactic will work." the brothers both stood and Mikey started to head for the door "Mike, don't worry, I am going to try what you told me ok?" "ok." Leo gave his brother a slight hug and shut his door as Mikey left the room.

The leader had a lot to think about.

Mikey went to the living room and waited for the hot head to return, he knew better then to try and talk to him when he was mad.

After nearly two hours and Raphael had not returned Leo came out of his room and saw Mikey sitting on the couch, "hey Mike, is Raph or Donnie back yet?" "yea Donnie went to his lab but Raph's not back." nodding Leo said "would you tell Splinter I went to look for him?" Mikey stood and said "why don't I go? He might just get mad at you and stay out the rest of the night..." "I wont yell I promise." "I know, but we both know how mad he tends to get when you go to find him. Let me go and I will be back with him ok? I have my shell cell if I run into any trouble ok?" Leo thought about it for a minute and then said "ok, go ahead, but contact me if you can't find him or run into trouble ok?" "ok I promise."

Raphael had gone to his favorite roof top to cool down, he couldn't for the life of him figure out what Leo's problem was, he was so sick of taking orders from him. As he sat there fuming he watched cars go by below, a mess of red and white streaks. He was so focused on that he didn't hear some one come up behind him, he spun around when heard his name being called. He saw his youngest brother standing there, "what you want Mikey? Leo send you to bring me home? If he did then just head on back cause I aint comin home for a while longer and I aint in the mood for company."

Mikey stood there on the roof top staring at his older brother he considered his words carefully as he said "No, Leo didn't send me, I sent my self. Leo wanted to go out to find you but I told him I would."

Mikey walked over and sat next to his hot headed older brother, the two sat in silence, the cool autumn wind whipped around them. It was a soft wind not real bad but enough that Mikey felt a little chilly.

Raph saw his younger brother shivering slightly and said "why don't you go home? Your gonna end up sick and then I am gonna be blamed for it." Mikey shook his head and looked out at the night sky, because of the down town lights it made it hard to see the stars. Mikey had a question that was burning in his gut, he wanted so badly to just jump up and shout it at him but he knew better "Why do you hate him?" Raph frowned at his younger brother and said "who? Are you talkin about Leo?" Seeing his little brother's hesitant nod Raph couldn't find any words, Mikey on the other hand had plenty to say.

"Raph I don't understand something? We are brothers, we live together, we play together, we fight together and I don't mean arguing. But with all the bad things in our lives, the last thing we need to do is hate each other."

Mikey paused feeling tears welling up inside as he said the next part "Raph... you three and Splinter are the only family I have... it hurts me to think, that one of these days, you are not going to return to us one night. That because of your temper... its something that haunts me in my sleep every night. I am scared of loosing you... We nearly lost Leo because of Shredder... what would have happened to us if we had lost him that night? if he didn't pull through? What would happen if we lost you and Leo? What would become of me and Donnie? or even Splinter?"

Raph studied his little brother, he could see the tears in his eyes and felt a stab of guilt. He had caused his little brother so much pain and had not even realized it, "Mikey, I would never leave you guys... I may storm off, but I always come back. So I am late coming home some times it doesn't mean that I will ever leave our family."

"Do you hate Leo?" Mikey turned his face towards his older brother as he asked this question, Raph could see the tears running down Mikey's face. Raphael for the first time in his life didn't know what to say. Mikey swallowed hard and said "Raph, why do you hate him so much? You two were so close when we were kids. When we were younger Splinter never treated us any differently from each other. He treated us all the same, maybe he was harder on Leo but he loves us all the same."

Raph looked away, and watched a pigeon land on the roof near them, he didn't know what to say, he really didn't.

"Mike... I never hated Leo..." "oh really? is that why your out here? Is that why you always fight with him? Is that why you call him Fearless all the time? and you know he hates being called that. What is he to you Raph? Is he the enemy? or our brother? he may be our leader but he is our brother first." during Mikey's rant he had managed to keep a calm voice.

Raphael was having a hard time finding words, his mind actually felt blank as Michelangelo managed to get his point across, and show him reality like a slap in the face with out even lifting a finger.

Mikey and Raph sat in silence for a while, neither one saying a word, Raph looked over and noticed how his younger brother was shivering. The temperature had dropped over the last half hour since Mikey had been on that roof with him. Raph choose his words carefully "Mike... um... where is all of this coming from?"

Mikey looked away and told him point blankly "I heard you." frowning Raph asked "heard me? what are you talking about?"

Mikey felt anger raising in his chest but he continued to keep his voice calm "I heard you talking to Casey on your shell cell the other night. You told him that you hated Leo and you hated us in general, I could hear you say how badly you wanted to be on your own and live your own life away from us."

Raphael closed his eyes, _damn... the walls were not as thick as I imagined... how could I do this to him? cause him so much pain? _

Mikey continued "your room is next to mine Raph, if you can hear me crying in the middle of the night from a nightmare what makes you think I can't hear a phone conversation?"

Raphael didn't have to see his brothers face to know that the tears had returned, he hated to see his baby brother cry, it tore at his heart. It hurt even more knowing that he was the one to cause his baby brother so much pain and agony. "Mike... I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean for you to hear that. And for the record I didn't mean what I said..." "then why say it? Why say something if you don't mean it? You have to be thinking about it in order to say it Raph."

Once again Raph didn't know what to say, he was having a hard time with his brother's logic, usually it was Donatello who left him dumb struck, but this time it was his baby brother.

Suddenly Mikey's shell cell went off, he answered it "yea?" Raph could see his brother listening to the other end and then Mikey said "ok we will be right there." Mikey shut his phone and said "Donnie said that there is a sever weather advisory for all of New York, we need to head back before the weather gets too bad."

The temperature continued to fall as Raph stood up and said "yea then we better go."

The trip back to the lair was a silent one, Raph still couldn't rap his head around what his little brother was telling him, could he really be as bad as what Mike said? Was he really blaming Leo for his own personal problems? Where did his resentment for Leo even really come from? He had to talk to some one.

Once back in the lair, the two saw that no one was waiting for them in the main part of the lair. Mikey mumbled "I'm going to bed." as he made his way to his room, Raph watched him go, he couldn't believe what he had been told. Raph went to his room and laid down, he knew Splinter, and Leo were sleeping and Donnie was probably working on something.

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't fall asleep, he got up and went to find out if Donnie was still up, the genius turtle was actually in his own room sleeping. He went and saw that his two other brothers were sleeping as well, the feeling he had to talk to some one was still very strong. He knocked on Leo's door frame since the door was standing open, he saw his brother move in bed. "Raph?" Leo asked sleepily. "yea its me, can we talk?"

Leo sat up and rubbed his eyes and looked over at his bedside clock, 4:20am. "What's wrong? Why are you home so late?" Leo kept his voice calm as he asked that last part, the bigger turtle told him "I have been home since before 2... I can't fall asleep... there is something I need to talk about."

Raph took Leo's desk chair and turned it around straddling it facing his brother, "Leo, Mikey and I had a long talk, well it was more one sided because for once in my life I couldn't find anything to say. He literally left me speechless..."

"know the feeling, he did the same to me some what when he talked to me. He had me in shock for quite a while, when he volunteered to go find you I knew it was going to be a while before you two came home. I was watching the news when they were talking about bad weather and told Donnie to call you two, I went to bed shortly after wards I knew you two would be fine coming home."

Raph nodded and said to him "you know... I don't hate you Leo... I never have... I am sorry if I ever made you feel that way..." Leo looked down at the floor then back to his younger brother "I know... Splinter constantly tells me that..." Raph frowned and said "you talk to him about our fights?"

"Raph, you do realize words do hurt? What you say does hurt me some times. No I don't go to him after every fight, just the ones that really bother me."

"what about the one last night?"

"not to that point, besides I hadn't been in my room that long before Mikey knocked on my door, we talked for about an hour or so. He was truly upset, he helped me see the error of my ways of talking to you and I plan on enforcing them in the future."

"why did he wait so long to come talk to me?"

Leo looked down at the floor as he said "because you scare him when your mad. He isn't scared of me when I am angry, but he sure is scared of you."

Raph looked at his older brother in shock, _I scare my baby brother that bad? What the shell is wrong with me? _"I am surprised that he came and found me." "I think he knew you had time to cool off."

Leo and Raph were silent for a moment before Leo said to him "you know Mike said something that does make a lot of sense though, when you told me on that roof top when we fought... Did you mean what you said?"

Raph frowned, it had been about a year since that night when the two had fought when Raph was the Nightwatcher.

Raphael thought back and then said "no... I didn't. I didn't even say I hated you." Leo kept his voice calm as he said "no, I was the one that asked why you hated me. You didn't deny it, or answer the question."

Scooting his chair closer he said "Leo, I know what I said or didn't say hurt. But your my brother..." "yea but you don't say things like that to your brother..." Raph looked away, he could sense he had badly hurt Leo. And what ever he was feeling was very deep, "do you even remember when it all started? When the two of us started fighting so much?"

Leo thought about his brother's question and said "not really... as far back as I remember we have always fought... I don't really remember a time we ever got along." Raphael looked at his brother and said "Mikey remembers... he said he remembers a time when we got along. We must have been really young then."

Raph told his brother "we need to watch what we say around Mikey though... he takes things to heart. I could see it in his eyes tonight, he is badly hurt Leo. After practice this morning why don't the three of us spend time together, if Donnie wants to he can join in too." "what do you have in mind?"

chuckling Raph said "remember when we learned how to play basketball? We can go play basketball together down that tunnel near our old lair." Smiling Leo said "sounds like a plan, come on, we might as well head to the dojo. Its after 5 and nearly time for practice."

From then on the two tried hard to get along better, they still had their fights but watched what they said and how they said it and who they said it around. Leonardo kept his promise to Mikey about keeping the volume down, and for the most part it seemed to work.


End file.
